aotearoa

I never update so I thought I would for once lol.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 10

2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? The Da Vinci Code

4. What is your favorite TV show(s)? The OC, Sex and the City, Dawson's Creek

5. What did you have for breakfast? Chips...very healthy

6. What is your middle name? Jane

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Anything the guy I'm seeing makes ;)

8. What food do you dislike? Pumpkin

9. Your favorite Potato chip? Barbeque

10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? James Blunt-Back to Bedlam

11. What kind of car do you drive? Red Mitsubishi Pajero

12. What characteristics do you despise? Indifference

13. Favorite item of clothing? My beautiful pink lace mini

14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation? Hawaii

15. What color is your bathroom? White

16. Favorite brand of clothing? Massimo Dutti

17. Where would you retire? Somewhere like Hawaii

18. Favorite time of day? Dusk

19. Where were you born? New Zealand

20. Favorite sport to watch? Rugby...men in short shorts...yummy

21. Who do you least expect to send this back? -

22. Person you expect to send it back first? -

23. What laundry detergent do you use? Lame

24. Coke or Pepsi? diet

25. Are you a morning person or night owl? night owl

26. What size shoe do you wear? 9

27. Do you have pets? Jack the cat

28. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with your friends? I think I'm falling in love

29. What (who) did you want to be when you were little? An astronaut or a veterinarian

30. Favorite Candy Bar? Crunchie

31. What is your best childhood memory? Running around in the autumn leaves

32. What are the different jobs you have had in your life? Oooh, too many to count-baker, stripper, receptionist, editor, sales, modelling, promotions, dancer

33. What color underwear are you wearing? None don't wear any

35. Piercings: ears

36. Eye color: blue

37. Ever been to Africa? no

38. Ever been toilet papering? what?!

39. Love someone so much it made you cry? Yes...thats when you know you love them

40. Been in a car accident? no

41. Croutons or bacon bits? bacon

42. Favorite day of the week? Thursday

43. Favorite restaurant? The German one that makes the best sausages...can't remember the name

44. Favorite flower? orchids

45. Favorite ice cream? cookies and cream

46. Disney or Warner Brothers? WB

47. Favorite fast food restaurant? Hardees

48. What color is your bedroom carpet? gray

49. How many times did you fail your driver's test? 1

50. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail? a family wanting me to be their nanny

51. Which store would you choose to max out your Credit Card? Monsoon

52. What do you do most often when you are reading? Hands start wandering...;)

53. Bedtime: 10-6

54. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire? who cares

55. Last person you went to dinner with: Mark

57. What are you listening to right now? the AC

58. What is your favorite color? Pink

59. Lake, Ocean or River? River

60. How many tattoos do you have? 0

61. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? egg

62. How many people are you sending this email to? 0

63. Favorite Cocktail? good old jd and something else

64. Red or White? I like white wine

65. Where would you go for a girl's weekend get-a-way? Have mainly guy friends so no can do

66. What would you do if you had to select another career? very wealthy housewife

67. Republican or Democrat? -

68. Favorite Family Vacation? Cannes

69. All Time Favorite Concert? Never been to one

1. Ever been to a male strip club? Nope
2. Ever been to a female strip club? Yes
3. Ever been to a bar? Duhh
4. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club? Yes
5. Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere? Yes
6. Ever been so drunk you blacked out? Yes
7. Kissed someone of the same sex (no relatives)? Yes
8. Thrown up from drinking too much? No...just a non-throwing up person i guess
9. Had sex with more than one person in a 24 hour period? Yes
10. Had sex in a car? No
11. Had sex in a park? No
12. Had sex in a movie theater? No
13. Had sex in a bathroom? No
14. Had sex in a school? no
15. Have you ever been in an "adult" store? Yes
16. Have you ever purchased items from adult store? No
17. Have you spent over $100.00 in one visit to the adult store? No
18. Is there someone you wished you never had sex with? Yep
19. Is there someone you wished you would have had sex with? Yes
21. Ever given head? Yes
22. Have you ever had a threesome? Yes
23. (GIRLS)Are your breasts real? yep
24. Have you ever used viagra (or anything like it)? no
25. Would you rather give or receive oral sex? 69 for sure
26. Have you ever kissed a stranger? Yup
27. Have you ever had a one night stand? yes again.
28. Were you honest? in answering this? yes i was
29. Who do you think will fill out this survey? who cares

Given a hickey? Guilty

Had a one night stand? Guilty

Hooked up on the first date? Guilty

Singing in the shower? Guilty

Gotten a hickey? Guilty

Spit in someone's drink? Innocent

Played with Barbies? Guilty

Made someone cry? Guilty

Opened your Christmas presents early? Guilty

Lied to a friend? Guilty

Seen "The Goonies" more than 10 times? Innocent (I havent seen it once!)

Played a Computer game for more than 5 hours? Guilty

Ran through the sprinklers naked? Innocent

Ate food that fell on the floor? Guilty

Went outside naked? Guilty

Got caught cheating? Guilty

Got caught having sex? Guilty

Flashed somebody? Guilty

Mooned somebody? Innocent

Been on stage? Guilty

Been on stage naked or close to it? Innocent

Been in a parade? Guilty

Been in a school play? Guilty

Drank beer? Guilty

Gotten detention? Guilty

Been on a plane? Guilty

Been on a cruise ship? Innocent

Broken into a house? Innocent

Gotten a tattoo? Innocent

Gotten piercings? Guilty

Gotten into a fist fight? Guilty

Gotten into a shouting match? Guilty

Swallowed sea/pool water? Guilty

Spun yourself in circles to get dizzy on purpose? Guilty

Laughed so hard it hurt? Guilty

Tripped on your own feet? Guilty

Had sex with more than one person in a day? Guilty

Had sex outside? Guilty
Cried yourself to sleep? Guilty

Cried in public? Guilty

Thrown up in public? Innocent

Lied to your parents? Guilty

Skipped class? Guilty

Cried so hard you threw up? Innocent

Hi guys,
I don't know if you guys still remember me, but I'm back after a year. What is there to say...I'm trying to restrict my cals like hell...I am trying to get down to 50 kgs...all you aussies and kiwis know those measurements...have no idea what it is in pounds. Hey Jasmin I've been reading your journal...god I miss living in New Zealand, even though Christchurch isn't as great as Auckland. I'm going back to the uni of Cant in July...I thought I'd take a break from uni for a bit but its not really working out. I'm just getting as drunk and I'm still into casual hookups as much as I used to be. I have two guys that I am 100% think I am committed just to them, but I can't do it. I still love in the thrill of the chase...I can't believe I missed O week! All my friends said it was the best...so good. God I need to go back. Its way too hot here...

Hey Jas please update soon...I love hearing about your life...and Carl is a hottie!

Hi everyone,

I've been gone a while. Basically, after my last entry, I met the most wonderful guy and my whole life completely did a turn-around. That was until my parents forced me to leave in a DAY and move back to New Zealand to go to university. That was the biggest shock of my life. My dad actually hit me to try to make me see sense. Couldn't they understand that I was at the happiest I had ever been, had money, friends, a LIFE??!! God, just thinking now what they made me give up, even though it was in January, makes me start crying.

So now...I have deteriorated again. Anything that blots out whats happening. Alcohol, weed, guys. I just don't seem to give a shit anymore. One thing I have started on is a two week fast. It better bloody work.

The sexiest thing alive is visible hip bones. Even though I only lost 7 lbs this week, I have lost weight around my hip bones and stomach so now they are even more visible. Theres nothing better than a flat abdomen and sticking-out hip bones. Thats why I sometimes feel good that I have a pear shape body. My friend, who is apple shaped, has no visible hip bones, but her bum is TINY.

QUESTION- Would you prefer to have a tiny bum or hip bones that stick out?

So...if anyone remembers the goals I set myself (refer to my journal), I got one of them. Sex with BAD boys is just so hot. They just KNOW how to turn a girl on. Theres something about stubble and dirty scruffy hair that just gets me going. Haha.

I'm planning on doing 2 hrs of exercise a day til I reach my goal weight. I've stocked up on green tea...I can't wait. I swear, watching 'The Simple Life'-Paris is such a thinspiration.

I've just been reading over my past entries and I feel entirely indifferent to everything. Even though issues that plagued me a year ago are still at the forefront of my life today, it seems I have come to accept it. I am writing down some clear cut goals that I want in the next two months. Some may seem silly, others pathetic, but to me they are what will help me get my life to how I want it.

1) Get to 99lbs and stay there
2) Have sex
3) Wear my favourite skinny jeans EVERY DAY
4) Dye my hair blond
5) Seduce an older guy

Haha...they may seem pointless, but they are what I want. I'll refer to these when I want to remember what I'm doing. I'm off to London for a week with my mum...can't wait. Take care all of you...especially you eurotrip...

I'm such a fat ass. I really am. Its unbelievable how much weight I've gained since July. I put it down to my serious depression. I am really too annoyed and disappointed in myself to do a long update now

Hi everyone. Haven't written for a long time, but I've had some bad shit happening of which I'm having trouble trying to forget. Now I understand what people mean when they say "I need closure." I don't know what kind of closure I need; the only thing I need and one now is to restrict. Yeah, thats basically it.

Schools over forever-exams done, amazing feeling. I just want to feel perfect by the end of this summer. Please.

Guess who is a brunette? And guess who feels MUCH sexier than being a blonde? Its funny, considering how my best friend has this obsession with blonde hair. I think brown is much more beautiful and grown up.

1. Grab the book nearest to you, write down what it says on page 18, line 4: "the scanning dialog box again. Every time you click Scan pages"

2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. what do you touch first?: TThe microphone

3.What is the last thing you watched on tv?: NYPD Special Victims Unit

4.Without looking, guess what the time is.: 6:30

5.Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?: 6:32

6.With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?: The whirr of the AC unit

7.When did you last step outside? What were you doing?: Around 1:05 pm to drive to my exam

8.Before you came to this website, what did you look at?: My MSN

9.What are you wearing?: white halter top and blue short length overalls

10.Did you dream last night?: Yeah it was another adventure dream

11.When did you last laugh?: In the car after my exam with my brother after 4

12.What is on the walls of the room you are in?: An Australian Aborigine instrument, two water colour paintings, a calendar and a music clock

13.Seen anything weird lately?: Women with wrinkles who appear to still attract guys

14.What do you think of this quiz?: its ok

15.What is the last film you saw?: Underworld

16.If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?: a personal trainer

17.Tell me something about you that I don't know.: I look under my bed every night to check for murderers

18.If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you choose?: That race should not even be an issue

19.Do you like to dance?: God yes...I'm amazing

20.Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?: Leigh...love that name from Virginia Andrews books

21.Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?: Nicholas

22.Would you ever consider living abroad?: Yes



1.FULL NAME: aotearoa...and thats all most of you need to know!

2.WHO WERE YOU NAMED AFTER: Well my real name means "princess" so you go figure it out

3.SCHOOL: In this shithole country where results and grades matter so much

4.MASCOT: never had one

5.NICKNAMES: None...do not allow it

6.BIRTHDAY: August 15th 1985

7.SIGN: Leo

8.GRADE: Graduate of high school...soon to enter university

9.GPA average: Don't have those at my school...I'm pretty much a B student with a few A's

10.HEIGHT: 5'7.5

11.SHOE SIZE: 9

12.HAIR COLOR: Blonde

13.EYE COLOR: Blue-green

14.SIBLINGS: brother 16...total player...but then I'm no better

15.LAST CDs YOU BOUGHT: Don't buy CDs
16.LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN THE THEATER: Kill Bill 2

17.LAST MOVIE YOU RENTED: Cold Feet Series 4

18.FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL: Drama

19.LEAST FAVORITE SUBJECT: Maths

21.WHO ARE YOUR BEST FRIENDS: Chrissie baby

22.DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: Yes

23.FAVORITE ACTRESS: Keira Knightley...she always has good roles

24.FAVORITE ACTOR: Johnny Depp...very versatile...although Sean Penn is great too...hot for an old guy

25.FAVORITE MOVIES: Bend it Like Beckham, Love Actually, American Beauty

26.FAVORITE TV SHOW: Dawson's Creek
27.FAVORITE THING TO DO ON WEEKENDS: Go clubbing

28.FAVORITE COLOR: Green

29.FAVORITE COLLEGE TEAMS: Don't know

30.FAVORITE STORE(S): Mango basically

31.FAVORITE FOOD(S): Green apples

32.DO YOU DO ANY DRUGS?: Nope.

33.HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE ON YOUR BUDDY LIST?: 13

34.WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SPORT(S)?: Long distance running
35.DO YOU LIKE BRITNEY SPEARS?: Not really

36.HOW LONG ARE YOU IN THE SHOWER?: 10 minutes max.

37.WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO GO ON VACATION?: France...my god...soon I'll be there!!!!

38.LAST PERSON YOU GOT AN E-MAIL FROM?: My baby

39.FAVORITE SCARY MOVIE: The Ring

40.WHATS YOUR FAVORITE BRAND OF FOOD?: haha kelloggs??!

41.GUYS WITH OR WITHOUT HATS: without
42.BEST NUMBER EVER: 45

43.WORST FEAR: confined spaces with loads of other people

44.FAVORITE DAY: Wednesdays

45.BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Haha...that would be R rated

46.WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?: Feeling unloved

47.HAVE YOU EVER BEEN FORCED INTO AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP?: no...but I'm all for them

48.WHAT COLLEGE DO YOU GO TO OR WANT TO GO TO: one in New Zealand...in Christchurch

49.ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK: yes

50.ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING?: No

51.RELIGION: Atheist

52.DO YOU BELIEVE IN ANGELS?: No

53.DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS?: Yes

54.DO YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF?: Never

55.WHAT DO YOU DO THAT MAKES YOUR FRIENDS MAD: Go into a melancholy mood

56.ARE YOU MAD AT ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS?: Yes...and so they're not my friends anymore...screw them
57.DO YOU HAVE ANY STUFFED ANIMALS?: about 12...but only one I regularly sleep with

58.DO YOU HAVE ANY BAD HABITS?: God I've got an addiction right now that is killing me

59.WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE RESTAURANT: Johnny Rockets

60.WHERE IS YOUR FAVORITE HANGOUT: Haha...the mall with me and my bessie

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME
01 - fat people
02 - wrinkles
03 - living a lonely life

THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND
01 - genetics-seriously...it eludes me continuously
02 - why I have this constant desire to be young again
03 - myself

THREE THINGS I AM WEARING RIGHT NOW
01 - my orange ring that my Russian great-grandmother gave me
02 - a brown mini skirt
03 - a green sleeveless top
04 - a white bra

THREE THINGS ON MY DESK
01 - AC control
02 - 2 empty glasses
03 - my multicoloured hippy jersey

THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE
01 - marry a millionaire
02 - own a LBD
03 - be happy for a whole day

THREE THINGS I LIKE ABOUT MY BODY
01 - my hands
02 - my eyes.
03 - my ribcage.

THREE THINGS I DON'T LIKE ABOUT MY BODY
01 - my height
02 - my nose
03 - my metabolism
THREE THINGS MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU
01 - I constantly get cramp in my right foot...especially when I am in compromising situations
02 - I came second in my eight grade's cross country run
03 - I have slept with a stuffed animal, a rabbit called Bunny, every night since I was born

THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST
01 - I'm sorry
02 - I'm terrible
03 - How was your day?

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO
01 - Russia
02 - Japan
03 - New York

THREE NAMES THAT YOU GO BY
01 - Sarah
02 - Sarah
03 - Sarah!

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE OR HAD
01 - black_unicorn
02 - Viridian
03 - Butterflies

WORD ASSOCIATION
o. Eminem: white haired loser
o. Hot: Middle aged men
o. Britney Spears: gorgeous
o. NSync: Justin Timberlake-also gorgeous
o. Real world: god knows
o. Orange: gives me headaches
o. Fuck: sex
o. Bisexual: interesting
o. Black: depressing
o. Insane clown: scary
o. Linkin Park: weird rock band
o. Jack: my bro's friend...so hot
o. Rainbow: spellbinding
o. Cherry: delicious fruit
o. Cucumber: makes you sick
o. Shark: pain
o. Bat: mossy
o. Leather: soft
o. Whip: torture
o. Water: smooth
o. Volcano: exciting

THIS OR THAT
o. Rock or rap: rock.
o. Pop or rap: pop
o. Rap or R&B: R&B
o. Rock or metal: rock.
o. Linkin Park or Limp Bizkit: linp bizkit if i have to choose.
o. Tool or Korn: tool if i had to choose
o. Winter or summer: summer.
o. Spring or fall: fall.
o. ICP or Eminem: eminem if i had to choose
o. Kittie or Garbage: garbage if i had to choose
o. MTV or VH1: mtv.
o. Buffy or Angel: buffy
o. Dawsons Creek Or Gilmore Girls: dawsons creek.
o. Football or basketball: foot ball
o. Summer olympics or winter olympics: summer
o. Skiing or snowboarding: skiing
o. Rollerblading or skateboarding: rollerblading!

PRIVATE LIFE
o. Boyfriend/girlfriend: Yeah...hmmm...nice...
o. Crush: yes.
o. Do you love anyone right now: no not really except my bezzie...but thats a different kind of love
o. Ever had sex: yes.
o. How many hearts have you broken: two or three
o. How many people broke your heart: three
o. Ever kiss a friend: yes. why would you kiss a not friend?
o. Are you still friends: yes.
o. Do you smoke: no.
o. How about weed: no
o. Acid: never done.
o. ecstasy: never done.
o. Crack, heroin, anything else: no
o. Prefer beer or liquor: beer although have stopped or else it will give me a chubby tummy!
WOULD YOU EVER
o. Bungee jump: no im too afraid.
o. Skydive: no.
o. Swim with dolphins: yes. theyre cute.
o. Go rock climbing: yes but only indoors
o. Turn your back on your friends for personal gain: no. unless they werent really my friend.
o. Steal a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend/interest: no but have wanted to
o. Cross-dress: wear my bro's shorts if i run but thats about it
o. Lie to the police: no
o. Run from the police: no
o. Speed away from the police: no
o. Walk up to a total stranger and kiss them: no
o. Walk out of a restaurant without paying: no


FRIENDS
o. Best friend(s): you dudey...you KNOW who you are
o. Coolest online friend: def leo...its all in his freaky name and weird sleeping schedule
o. Known longest: Shelly
o. Wish you talked to more than you do: My best friend :(
o. How many friends do you think you have: very few...I am extremely picky
o. How many do you actually hang out with: 1
o. Who drives you insane: Chris...never will figure him out
o. Ever lose a good friend because you took it to the next level: I wanted to take it but I didn't think he did so I left it...now we're not even friends :(

HAVE YOU EVER
o. Told the person you liked how you felt: never...wait for them to tell me
o. Gone to jail/juvenile detention: no
o. Skateboarded: no. i have been on one once. hah.
o. Skinny dipped: haha yes...dude...remember???!!
o. Stolen anything from a store: no
o. Kissed someone of the same sex: yeah.
o. Been to a concert: yes.
o. Been to another country: yes
o. Talked back to an adult: yes. like everyday.
o. Gotten in trouble for it: yes. my mums a freaking stressy mess
o. Given money to some homeless person: no but I would if I ever saw them
o. Cried to get out of trouble: yes...I'm very manipulative ;)
o. Kissed a friend's brother/sister: wouldn't ever

my name is]: Sarah
[height]: 5 7.5
[in the morning i am]: really tired and groggy
[all i need is]: love
[love is]: vitally important to me
[if i could see one person right now]: my dudette!
[im afraid of]: being alone, growing up, getting married, getting wrinkles
[i dream]: about my current guy at least twice a week, and I always have adventure dreams

-H A V E .Y O U. E V E R . .
[been in love]: no
[cried when someone died]: yes...my great grandmother
[lied]: yes.

-W H I C H . I S . B E T T E R-
[coke or pepsi]: coke.
[flowers or candy]: flowers.
[tall or short]: tall

-W I T H .T H E. O P P O S I T E. S E X-
[what do u notice first]: eyes
[last person u slow danced with]: my current guy...sexy ;)
[worst question to ask]: Do you like me?
-W H O-
[makes u laugh the most]: my brother
[makes you smile]: dudette, father, brother, my guy
[gives u a funny feeling when u see them]: my guy
[do you have a crush]: yes.
[has a crush on u]: hopefully the same as above
[is easier to talk to]: same person as above also my father and you dudey

-D O. Y O U .E V E R-
[sit on the internet all day waiting for someone special to message u]: have done but not anymore...over him like 3 years ago
[save msn conversations]: sometimes
[wish u were a member of the opposite sex]: yuk no
[cried because of someone saying something to u]: all the time...like every day...I'm a baby

H A V E .Y O U .E V E R-
[fallen for ur best friend]: yeah...and now we don't even speak...whats up with that? Screw you Chris!
[been rejected?]: not really. i never set myself up for that.
[rejected someone]: yes constantly
[used someone]: always
[been cheated on]: yes
[done something u regret]: a million things
[been drunk?]: yes
[done drugs?]: no

-W H O .W A S .T H E .L A S T. P E R S O N-
[u talked to on the phone]: mum
[hugged]: my guy about 10 days ago...yes...my parents don't anymore
[u instant messaged]: jane
[that instant messaged you]: as above
[u laughed with]: brother

-D O .Y O U-
[color ur hair]: yes
[ever get off the damn computer]: yeah
[habla espanol]: no but should learn...my guy is part columbian so speaks spanish fluently

-D O .Y O U / / A R E .Y O U-
[smoke cigarettes]: no
[obsessive]: god about EVERYTHING!
[could u live without the computer?]: yes but I'd experience withdrawal symtoms
[how many peeps are on ur buddylist?]: about 13
[what's your favorite food?]: green apples...too bad they're never in our kitchen
[whats ur favorite fruit?]: as above...although tied with raspberries and nectarines
[drink alchohol?]: yes
[like watching sunrises or sunset]: sunsets much more
[what hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?]: emotional i think.


[ Current Dress ] brown mini skirt and green sleeveless top
[ Current Makeup ] none
[ Current Mood ] sad
[ Current Music ] none.
[ Current Taste ] mouth taste i guess.
[ Current Hair ] wound up in a clasp
[ Current Annoyance ] that im a procrastinator and id rather do anything other than what im supposed to do.
[ Current Smell ] my moisturizer that was recently applied
[ Current Thing I Ought To Be Doing ] practicing the clarinet
[ Current Favorite Artist ] norah jones
[ Current Favorite Group ] maroon 5
[ Current CD in Stereo ] robbie williams -'escapology'
[ Current Video In Player ] friends series 6 episodes 5-8
[ Current Color Of Toenails ] pale pink
[ Current Crush ] good looking middle aged men?!

[ Boyfriend/Girlfriend ]yeah
[ Longest Relationship ] this is it...three weeks...god im sad
[ Shortest Relationship ] 3 days
[Ever Been In Love w/More Than 1 Person? ] no.
[ Meanest Thing A Guy/Girl Has Done To You? ] kept me on a string without telling me how he really felt...I think you know who I mean dudette :(
[ Ever Broke Someone's Heart? ] i dont think so. but maybe.
[ Someone Break Your Heart? ] not really.

FAVORITE...
[ Food ] green apples
[ Drink ] green tea
[ Color ] green.
[ Album ] queen greatest hits
[ Shoes ] my black wedges
[ Candy ] werthers
[ Animal ] Lion
[ TV Show ] Dawson's creek
[ Movie ] American Beauty
[ Dance ] ballet.
[ Veggie ] green peas
[ Fruit ] green apples

ARE YOU...
[ Understanding ] no
[ Open minded ] not really. i judge people.
[ Insecure ] yeah.
[ Interesting ] everyone says so
[ Hungry ] yeah. im hungrey most of the time.
[ Friendly ] when i want to be
[ Smart ] yeah
[ Moody ] yeah.
[ Childish ] very
[ Independent ] no
[ Hard-Working ] no
[ Organized ] in some aspects of my life
[ Healthy ] no.
[ Emotionally Stable ] no
[ Shy ] when i have to speak in front of people.
[ Difficult] i bet i am.
[ Attractive ] i guess.
[ Bored Easily ] yeah. im bored now.
[ Messy ] yeah i think so.
[ Thirsty ] yeah i am right now.
[ Responsible ] no
[ Obsessed ] yes
[ Angry ] yes
[ Sad ] yes
[ Happy ] no
[ Trusting ] not really.
[ ill ] god yes
[ Talkative ] depends who I'm talking to
[ Legal ] no.
[ Original ] oh yes
[ Ignored ]i feel that a lot
[ Reliable ] nno
[ Content ] no
[ Deep thinker ] from time to time
[ Self-disciplined ] no
[ Sleepy ] yes.
[ Lonely ] yes right now

RANDOM QUESTIONS
whats on your bedside table:: my red lamp, my contact lens case, my alarm clock, a small soft toy and a lipstick
what do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night::never do that
what is your secret garuanteed weeping movie:: Meet Joe Black
if you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done:: my nose
what feature are you most insecure about::as above...
do you ever have to beg:: haha...yeah...very bad sexual situation
are you a pyro:: oooh yes
do you know anyone famous:: Deborah Hautzig...author of my favourite book
describe your bed:: its queen size with tartan duvet and matching pillows and has four steel poles to make it a four poster bed
spontaneous or plain:: dude this summer HAS to be crazy!
do you know how to play poker:: no
what do you carry with you at all times:: nothing
how do you drive:: fast and furious
what do you miss most about being little:: not being befuddled by the opposite sex
how much money would you have to take in order to give up the internet for a year:: a million
what color is your room:: dark red
what was the last song you were listening to:: freaky song on radio
do you talk a lot:: not so much
do you like yourself and believe in yourself:: no to both
do you think you're cute:: when I am being manipulative
do poor, homeless, or starving people annoy you:: no I feel sorry for them
pick a word that describes you best at the moment:: tired and hungry

hre

How to make a Sarah

Ingredients: 5 parts jealousy 5 parts courage 1 part energy

Method: Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Add curiosity to taste! Do not overindulge!

For all the Kiwis out there and for the Aussies who think they're better and smarter than us (but we know better!)


A New Zealand man was having coffee and croissants with
butter and jam in a cafe when an Aussie tourist, chewing gum,
sat next to him. The New Zealander politely ignored the Australian, who,
never the less started up a conversation.
The Australian snapped his gum and said, "You Kiwi folk eat the
whole bread?
The Kiwi frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast,
and replied, "Of course."

The Australian blew a huge bubble. "We don't.
In Australia, we only eat what's inside. Then we collect the crusts,
recycle them, and transform them into croissants and sell them to New
Zealand."
The Aussie had a smirk on his face. The Kiwi listened in silence.
The Aussie persisted. "D'ya eat jam with the bread?"

Sighing, the Kiwi replied, "Of course."

Cracking his gum between his teeth, the Aussie said, "We don't. In
Aussie, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels,
seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them
into jam and sell them to New Zealand."

The Kiwi then asked, "Do you have sex in Australia?"

The Australian smiled and said, "Why of course we do."

The New Zealander leaned closer to him and asked,
“And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"
"We throw them away, of course." says the Aussie.

"We don't, says the Kiwi. "In New Zealand, we put them in a container,
recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to
Australia.

Why do you think it's called Wrigley's?"

Explanation for new icon-I absolutely love Katie Holmes and it she is an inspiration for me to grow my hair long.

Summer is here, and days and hot,long and humid. I'm going to start swimming soon as there is no better reason to start than during the hot summer months. I would also like to finish writing one of my many unfinished books this summer, as well as developing a general happy mood and overcoming my depression that is slowly seeping its way back into my life. I am planning to definitely decide on what to do when I grow up, and am alternating between being an environmental lawyer and child pyschologist.

Sorry this entry is rather devoid of emotion, but I'm trying to stop myself analysing so much at the moment. I went for a cycle yesterday, and spent the whole time thinking about things that are going on in my life, such as old flings reappearing, my non-existent relationship with my mother etc.

Consequently, being highly emotional, I turn to my addiction. I don't want to tell anyone my addiction because I am embarrassed by it, but it is an actual addiction and I need to stop cold turkey very soon before I do anymore damage to myself. I wouldn't even want to go back to my doctor about it because it is embarrassing. Its not a porno addiction or anything sadistic like that, don't worry, but its still pretty destructive, both mentally and physically. Has anyone got any success stories they'd like to share in overcoming an addiction? Because lets face it, no matter what our addiction is, they all have to be overcome with the same determination and willpower.

Out with my guy tonight. It will be good. Is it bad to like someone so much because they're funny? I LOVE people who can make me laugh. A life without laughter would KILL me.

Take care everyone...Jasmin, Sarah particularly. Hope you're both doing OK :)

Guess who lost 10 lbs in 5 1/2 days? Go me.

I’m flying. It’s a typical dream, one I have at least once a week. I run along meadows, with the sunny blue sky above, running as fast as I can until I take off, feeling exhilarated at being able to defy gravity. This time, however, someone is chasing me. I shiver in my bed, feeling an unusual feeling of fright in this dream that usually gives me so much hope. I turn around, and see that it is one of my enemies from school. The look on his face is malicious, his big white body gaining on me every second. We reach the ground again, and this time we are running on the road. I am sprinting as fast as I can, caught up in a personal zone where nothing can touch me. I speed away from my component, and wake up, deciding I am going to be a sprinter. That decision lasts for about ten minutes.

* * *

6 o’clock. Monday morning. I lie in bed, snuggled in with my Bunny, a stuffed rabbit I have slept with every night, apart from sleepovers and two years during my sulky early teenage years, and pull the blanket closer to my neck. I tentatively touch my face, smiling slightly as the face mask I used on my pimples yesterday has obviously had effect. Then I begin my daily battle. To eat, or not to eat, is one of the questions that first pops into my mind. This is accompanied with the picture of Kit Kats, the most easily accessible food in our house, and then the smell of the donuts on sale at school at break time. I then think about eating healthily, cereal then a sandwich for lunch, and perhaps a touch of exercise. I always ponder about what I would be like if I had followed this route when I first thought about it, which must be over four years ago. Then I think about not eating all day, the power I feel when I see fat people chomping down chips and chocolate bars, and the hatred I feel for skinny people who do the same. But usually on Monday mornings, I think about my family. I think about how much I love them and how I’m going to be nicer to my mum, and work harder for my dad, and how I won’t go out on the weekend so I can spend more time with them. The minute I get out of bed, I start to feel selfish. I start questioning the voices in my head, contradicting with each other as I walk to have a shower or get changed. This day, I will either break and fail, or succeed and flourish. I will either eat, or not eat. I will either work hard, or be lazy. I will either cry, or remain happy all day. It all depends, on me.

By the way, my last entry was part of a story I'm writing. I would love to be a book writer some day, although I'm terrible with my stories. I lose interest in my ideas so quickly...I keep on wanting to write something profound but I because I never plan how its going to end, I leave each story hanging, waiting for me to return to it someday when perhaps my maturity will allow them to be finished.

Tired am I. For no reason. And with an ear ache and head ache. I'm ALWAYS sick. ALWAYS. At least something is wrong with me. Sometimes I think I'm a hypochondriac, which may be true. But who knows?

I'm sick of my best friend being away. I'm SICK OF IT. No one to call in the middle of the night when I have a bad dream, no one to sing and dance with in my bedroom. It SUCKS.

This is short cause I have homework but basically, new things that are happening in my life is that my modelling agency has my pictures and work should be coming in soon. I don't think I'll write about it online though, cause somehow it seems boastful and selfish. So I'll continue to write about my diet and my guy who is sick as well. Arrrghh. I seriously CANNOT WAIT to go to New Zealand next year. I get so excited thinking about it. And apparently my Mum's friend has told her nephew all these great things about me (haha) and is now DYING to meet me (haha, her words). Gonna have the best summer this year. Spending a month in the gym running, going on holiday to stay in a house in France for two weeks with my family then spending another two weeks with my best friend and her brother and his friends in Austria where we will go trekking in the mountains, swimming in the lakes, and where I will NOT, I repeat NOT NOT NOT have sex. Haha...ignore that.

What the heck is 'examinate'?!

Well apart from having to eat fattening nachos for dinner, I managed to lose 1 kg yesterday. Haha, it doesn't sound like much does it? And tonight we're having pie...I think my parents are trying to kill me, seriously.

My head is hurting NON-STOP and I don't know what to do. I'm skivving off school for a few hours cause I can't be bothered, and just watched a couple of movies.

Right, can't stand this computer anymore. I'm also debating whether I want to have sex this weekend or not. For some weird reason, I don't think I can be bothered.